I lost my job last week. Or, to quote Bobcat Goldthwait, "well, I didn’t actually lose my job, I mean I know where my job is still. It’s just when I go there, there’s this new guy doing it." I won’t go into the details, other than to say a lot of people got let go at the same time, and I’m not sure it was a coincidence that nearly all of them made more than the average salary for their job title. #justsayin

Even though I know it had nothing to do with me personally, it still threw me. I was already down in the dumps over looking back at the last decade (it wasn’t the best time of my life), and even though my people (I have people) are already working on getting me on board somewhere else, I let the accumulated self doubt knock me off my stride and didn’t write for days.

Part of it was that I’d already stalled out on Unification Chronicles. I was bored with revisions on Revelation, and scared of continuing with Crusade. I’m starting to think I’m still too close to the story to revise it properly, and yet burned out on it after writing the whole first novel. I need a change of pace. Maybe I should start work on something really different, like Ghost Ronin, Titanus or Homeworld.

Or maybe I’m just wussing out again. I’m making it up as I go along here. Now that the "seven books in ten months" marathon is out the window, I’m trying different things.

On a similar note, I’m back to writing everything in one monolithic Word file rather than individual chapter documents in Evernote or Google Docs. Just feels more natural. Maybe I’m old fashioned. I am still keeping the Word documents in Evernote to keep them synced anywhere, and if I need to write a little extra, I have a new jailbreak extension for my iPhone that lets me quickly scroll down to the bottom of the Word documents to see where I left off before typing in the new stuff in Evernote.

On the tech front, I’m working on a review of the new Bluetooth keyboard driver for the iPhone, which allows me to use my Stowaway in situations where I’d rather not carry my netbook. Sometimes that three pounds matters. What?

One thought on “Thrown”

  1. I was downsized as a systems analyst in Nov 2003. It is worse when you are over 50.
    Hang in there. The illness with your mother is what is important. Work to live, not live to work. Blessings
    O God, These prayers come from all of us.
    Someone prays on our behalf, but the prayers belong to everyone, and come from our hearts more than from our mouths.
    In some ways none of us really knows how another feels, because each of us must struggle with his own fears, cope with his own problems,hurt from his own pains, search for his own goals, forgive and be forgiven his own failures.
    In such matters, God, when we seek understanding and hope for encouragement, it is to you that we turn.
    In moments such as these, we reach beyond ourselves and our troubles to you…asking not so much for things, but for a second or two of your presence.
    Just your slightest touch, and the day will be blessed, the raw spots will be healed and there will be peace in the hours ahead.
    And so we pray to you Dear God, Almighty, Everlasting One–all of us–giving thanks for this moment, your touch and our healing.

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